Things are looking up.

Disclaimer: I wrote this about a month ago and never posted, it obviously isn't finished but I havent posted anything in a while.. (11/19/07)

New job.
New bike.
New husband (hah!).

Those are the new things in my life that really going well.

I remember the final cross race I did last year at Bloomer, I crossed the finish line with a sense of relief that can only come from being burned out. Not from cross, but from committing myself every week to riding for the past 6 years; all I felt was obligation, but what happened to fun? This was a symptom of a larger problem or smaller ones happening at once: some crazy ass medications, a job that I despised, good friends moving away, a wedding to stress over, a crash. It makes sense now, but when so much is wrong it is hard to know what is right and that is kind of difficult to fix.


And, it wasn't that bad. I slept in and tried not to obsess about getting on miles.


I raced (and crashed!) at Lower Huron acouple of days agao and it felt great (well, the crash sucked). I've wanted to ride more in the past two weeks than I have in a long time. When Andy cancelled on me this morning, I was genuinely bummed so I went and rode around my ice cream bike around the neighbourhood. Things are starting to feel right again. I wake up in the morning and I want to get up and not hit snooze. It's a good thing.

I'm on week 2 of my new job and so far things are going rather smoothly.

You can't keep doing something out of obligation. You have to make the necessary changes to create happiness.